Auron: ~~Heeeeyeeeey girlfriend! =^.^=
Yuna: Uhh… >>;;;
Auron: Ooo… Honey, I think you need a bit of rouge… Pulls out compact and dusts Yuna’s face =^.^=
Yuna: …?? Sir… Auron? >>;;;
Auron: Now, where was I? Oh no! Look at these split ends!
Tidus: Walks by ^^
Auron: Tch! OH… MY… GOD… Tidus is soooo hot! Giggle =^.^=
Yuna: … 0_0;;;
Auron: You should totally go for him girl!
Yuna: Are you… ok? You seem different today…
Auron: ~~Uh uh! Don’t go there girlfriend! Snaps his fingers =^.^=
Yuna: Don’t go where…? >>;;;
Auron: Yoo Hoo! Tidy! Come here sexy! =^.^=
Tidus: Wha? >>;;;
Auron: That’s right you hunk of man! If Yunie’s not going for you, I am! =^.^=
Tidus: Eep! >>;;;
Auron: C’mere you hottie! Chases after him =^.^=
Yuna: Casts Holy on Auron >.<
Auron: Fried X_X
Tidus: Thanks! ^^
Yuna: You’re welcome! ^^
(Cloud opens his eyes, and is the middle of a cabbage patch)
Cloud: What? Where?
Aeris: You £$%£$%, you landed in my cabbages!
Cloud: Cabbages? I thought you sold flowers?
Aeris: I do all sorts of fruit and veg.
Cloud: Whoah! TOO much information!
(Cloud gets up)
Aeris: Do you rememebr me then?
Cloud: (options) yeah, you were selling flowers after i blew up the Shin Ra- um… i mean when I was in the area… \ yeah, weren’t you the slum slut?
Aeris: You DO remember!
Cloud: What’s your name?
Aeris: It’s Aeris… look, you can see it at the top of the blue speech boxes. And if you call me Aerith, i’ll hit you on the head with my big bo-peep-style-sheep-rod-thing.
Cloud: Right…
Aeris: So, what do you do for a living?
Cloud: I’m a jack off all trades
Aeris: You mean an odd-job man?
Cloud: …
Aeris: Ever been a bodyguard?
Cloud: Of course!
Aeris: Wanna be MY bodyguard?
Cloud: It’ll cost you.
Aeris: How about one date?
Cloud: What KIND of date? The kind that ends in a slap on the face, the kind that ends in a nightcap, the kind that ends with a kiss at the doorway, the kind that-
Aeris: We’ll see.
Cloud: Sounds like a great idea to me!
(soldiers enter)
Renault: Hey Bo-Peep!
Aeris: Oh no! Let’s go into the back room!
Cloud: Slow down a bit…
Aeris: We’ve got to go now… you’ve got to keep me safe!
(Cloud and Aeris leg it into the back room. Renault goes up to the cabbage-patch, walks straight through it, subtly pockets one, and then turns around to the troops)
Get her… oh, and don’t walk through the cabbages.
Soldiers: But you just did!
(Cloud and Aeris, in the next room, run up the stairs and up a fallen pillar, before the guards enter, and start shooting. Cloud and Aeris get to a gap in the floor)
Cloud: Jump!
Aeris: No way, and let those pervs down there see up my dress? Forget it!
Cloud: Oh well… I’m off!
Aeris: Aiee!
(Aeris falls down to the ground floor, and is followed by various guards)
Aeris: Cloud! Help me!
(Cloud runs around in the rafters, and finds a beer keg that miraculously hadn’t been stolen, before accidently knocking it down into the guards whilst trying to find a way out. The guards loose interest in Aeris, and pull out beer-mugs. Aeris climbs up and jumps the gap, as the guards are busy drinking, before running up into the rafters with Cloud. Cloud legs it across the rooftops, but Aeris manages to catch up.)
Aeris: Wait!
(Aeris does an overtheatrical jump)
Aeris: Thanks!
Cloud: Those were Greeks!
Aeris: So? Who’re they?
Cloud: They recruit people for SAILOR, but do other cool stuff like kidnapping on the side.
Aeris (Innocently): Oh… do you think they want me for SAILOR?
Cloud: Dunno… you want to join?
Aeris: No.
Cloud: Nah, (I’m glad I never did)… I mean… it was terrible… really bad. Really really bad.
Aeris: Huh?
Cloud: Nothing. Let’s get you home.
Aeris: Oh yeah…
(Cloud takes Aeris through to the shopping part of the Sector 5 Slums)
Random Person: Hey, there’s a guy in that tunnel, and he seems really ill!
Cloud: How… nice
Aeris: Oh! Let’s go see! Please? Pretty please?
(Cloud goes into tunnel, and sees the guy.)
Guy: RRRRrrrrRRRRrrrr
Cloud: Ha! Yeah, tell me about it…
Aeris: Hey, look! This guy’s got a tattoo… ‘Bite me’?
Cloud: Woah… I want a tattoo…
Aeris: You don’t need one… you’ve got your trademark spikey-hair
Cloud: Damnright!
(Cloud and Aeris go to Aeris’ house)
Aeris’ Mom: You brought home another one? What is it with you and SAILORs?
Aeris: Don’t go, (wait for it…) overboard mom! He’s my bodyguard.
Cloud: And may I just say it was a PLEASURE guarding her body
(Cloud waggles his eyebrows)
Aeris: I’m taking Cloud back to sector 7.
Aeris’ Mom: Not tonight… it’ll wait until morning.
Aeris: Okay!
Aeris’ Mom: Aeris, go upstairs and tidy up.
Aeris: Sure thing mom!
(Aeris runs upstrairs)
Aeris’ Mom: Listen, she had problems with someone from SAILOR before, so, if you wouldn’t mind, well… could you %&$ off in the middle of the night, so you won’t be here tomorrow?
Cloud: You want me to %&$* in your house?
Aeris’ Mom: No! I mean go away!
Cloud: Oh, right… SURE you do…
(Cloud winks, before going upstairs)
Aeris: Hey Cloud… I made my bed for you! UMM… I mean the spare bed… hint hint.
Cloud: Oh, thankyou.
(Cloud goes to the spare room, and drops off to sleep)
If he’s blind and desperate, how come they haven’t had him hit on cross-dressed James? It’s not like they ever recognize him… DON’T YOU KNOW GOOD COMEDY WHEN YOU SEE IT?
Also:
MARIO: No, Luigi, you go ahead, I’ll sit this one out.
