Or you could build up a relationship with her first and then move it to the next level and so on.
Imagine how you’d feel if you were good friends with a young lady and they spontaneously spouted out “I WANT YOUR BABIES!” with no prior warning. Would you feel uncomfortable if you didn’t feel the same way at the time?
I know I’d be feeling embarrassed, shocked and unsure what our friendship is about. I know because I have and I’ve done the same thing as you too, albeit in far less extreme mannar. You’re probably feeling stupid, like you screwed up, unsure of yourself and your apparently failing skills with the womenfolk. Rejection is normal so learn to live with it.
The easy solutions are to join the Catholic Church, become sexually repressed and then molest choir boys. I wouldn’t recommend that; it’s getting far harder to get away with such things nowadays. Or you could try to stop acting so desperate (you can still be desperate) and scaring girls away.
When you smile big, smile with your eyes… Bad way of putting it. When you fake a smile you smile with your lips and it looks fake. If you raise your cheeks a little bit and tighten the corners of your eyes it’ll look more natural, with practice that is. I smile all the time at people all the fucking time! For example when I’m at work, or wherever, I smile when I’m holding a door open for someone; or if someone hold it open for me, walking past people I know by face (men tend to get a nod) it doesn’t actually mean I’m stupidly happy to see them, I’m just being friendly and acknowledging that they’re there and that I’m a nice sociable guy. If you come across as a social person people will be more likely to approach you or be willing to be approached.
Smile when you first see a girl that you’re meeting up with so she knows that you’re happy tosee her. If she says a funny don’t laugh out loud like a dork, I tend to smile a bit and exhale a bit out of my nose. Looking at the mirror and trying to emulate it now I’m showing some teeth by raising my top lip and I’m dipping my head a bit. I don’t know if I do that all the time but I’m doing it now, but then I’m not really responding to a funny.
When you’re talking to her have your arms open and not crossed. I tend to use my arms and hands a lot (not in that way) by making slight gestures with them as I speak. I have my hands open and show my palms, shrug and so on. Lean towards her a bit (and only a bit), if she moves back to counteract your initial movement then she’s probably uncomfortable with you getting close to her.
Something that I’ve done in the past is look at her shoulder a couple of times and the brush off (more pick up and flick) fluff from somebody’s shoulder. It’s not real fluff, it’s in my mind. If she flinches, look at your hand with an uneasy ‘what the fuck’s he doing’ look on their face then she probably not too happy with you getting close to her. If she doesn’t seem to mind it doesn’t mean that she’s madly in love with you, she might not mind because she sees you a friend. If she does mind then I’d say that there was a tiny bit of fluff there and it was really annoying me. Seems stupid but at least your getting close to her and seeing how she reacts.
When you want her attention try tapping her hand to get it. Don’t do this when she’s talking to people or doing something important; you don’t want to seem needy. It’s more of a ‘we’re watching a video on the TV’ type of thing and you want to quietly attract her attention.
You might want to try to hold her hand while you’re walking with her. Don’t grab her hand either, I tend to not hand hold with a girl I’m not involved with when she’s around people she, I or we know. When you’re blatantly trying to show her that you like her, in public (especially when you’re around friends) it could make her feel awkward and embarrassed. Don’t grab her hand, more stroke her hand look at her and then see if she seems to like it or wait and see if she hold onto your hand.
I tend to look at another persons body language, if it’s telling me to back away I’m not going to try to get close to them. If they’re leaning by a bar or leaning forwards on a table I try to do the same,
When I flirt with girls I flirt with my body language a lot. I’ve been told I flirt without even knowing that I am. Try not to be stiff (no pun intended, ok slight pun intended by pointing out that no pun’s intended).
I used to be really aware of myself and my flaws but then I got comfortable with who I am and really stopped caring what people thought of me or if I’ve come across like a prick. I have a slight lisp and I was really concerned about what people (especially girls) thought of it and it really got in the way of me being a crazy little fucker. Truth be told I still don’t like talking on the phone too much but that’s just been inbuilt into me from years of being nervous about the way I talk. I used to put my hand over my mouth when I talk too people I didn’t know (again especially girls) and I never really noticed it, I just did it. It was only until a girl I was talking to kept pulling my hand away from my mouth and told me that it was really annoying because she couldn’t hear what I was saying. Now I know I did that I don’t anymore and I try to come across as being confident.
The way I see it when I’m talking to randoms the chances are I’m not going to see them ever again so who cares what they think of me. If I do get see them again they’re going to have to know what I’m like sooner or later. When I’m talking to people I know, they already know me too and how I am and act so I might as well be myself.
What I suspect is putting girls off is your tendency to tell them that you love them with no prior warning. If you must, rephrase it so you’ve grown rather fond of them instead.
Then time when I started being more social and having improving success with women was the time that I stopped really caring about who I was and just became myself. Coincidently it happened roughly the same time I started drinking…
If I’m trying it on with a lady I tend to use my body language to portray that I’m an easy going, nice guy and to see how they react to me. I basically flirt with a girl and then move it on. I tend to move slowly too, well seemingly slower than other guys tend to.
I know none of this is going to make a girl suddenly fall in love with you, but it will let her know that you’re interested in her so she doesn’t all of a sudden freak out when you tell her.
Shite, most importantly look at her too. Make fleeting eye contact with her. Don’t stare at her breasts, I know it hard not to when your at a club or bar and she’s wearing a low cut top but just cop a slight look rather than stare at her. It’ll be best to not look at all but I can’t do that. Don’t stare at he eyes either. Staring at somebody’s eyes is either for your partner or somebody you’re going to fight, not for a friend.
Don’t tell girls that you have feelings for them out of the blue! Flirt with them first so they know that you’re interested in them and then ask her out.
I’ve gone from being a shy, scared of talking to people person into a more outgoing, confident and some say over the top kind of guy. I can’t explain how it happened it just did.
I know I’m no Casanova but I know if I give it a go the chances are get a girls attention.
If a girl wants to meet up with you it’s a pretty good indication that she thinks that you’re an ok kind of guy so why now flirt with her and see if she responds? A lot of it is seeing how she reacts and knowing what to do (maybe in my case thinking you know what to do).