ON THE TABLE
Fry: “What’s so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren’t normal, and that’s what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg! He’s a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does.”
Zoidberg: “Damn right!”
Fry: “And the professor’s a senile, amoral crackpot.”
Fry: “Hermes is a rastafarian accountant.”
Hermes: “Tally me banana!”
Fry: “Amy’s a klutz from Mars!”
Amy: (crash) “whoops!”
Professor: “And Fry, you’ve got that brain thing.”
Fry: “I already did! So Leela - do you wanna be like us, or do you wanna be like Adelai…with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever.”
Special worship of Zoidberg earns 2x the points.
From the same episode:
Professor: “Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea! I’m sure Leela’s tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time.” (turns and looks at Leela’s eye) “WHOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
ZOIDBERG: Oh, I can’t compete with these young studs. Every one of them is better-looking than me.
LEELA: Cheer up! At least you don’t smell as bad as them.
ZOIDBERG: Oh, you’re right! My stink glands are defective! cries
PROFESSOR: With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!
Bender: I was a hero to broken robots 'cause I was one of them. But how can I sing about being damaged if I’m not? That’s like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish. Wait! That’s it! I’ll fake it!
Zoidberg: They sent us inside for doing an unsatisfactory job. And eating penguin eggs.
Fry: You ate most of them.
Leela: Aaooh. Dr. Zoidberg, since when do you even wear boots?
Zoidberg: I wasn’t wearing it. I was eating it.
Bender: “What a horrible dream! Ones and Zeros everywhere, and I think I saw a two…”
Fry: “It’s ok Bender, there’s no such thing as two.”
[The Robotology Prayer]
Bender: “10110110101001… 10100010001001… 2”
Zoidberg: And that’s how I found my new shell. It looks the same as my old one, and I found it in the same dumpster, but this one had a live racoon in it.
Zoidberg licks his lips
Zoidberg: Pretty good story, huh Hermes?
Hermes: Stick to someone else ya crusty barnacle!
Fry: I knew it! Insane theories: one, regular theories: a billion.
Leela: Oh just fire the damn rocket. (Points to large red button)
Fry: (Attempts to push button, but misses) Oops.
Fry: I am Santa Claus!
Leela: No! I am Santa Claus!
more people announce that they are Santa Claus
Zoidberg: And I’m his good friend Jesus!
ZOIDBERG: At least you’re not old and lonely like ZOIDBERG! sob You were saying?
Zoidberg: “No one will ever want to mate with me, not with a puny claw like this.” (holding up his claw) “Did you see those other guys? They looked like giant claws with bodies attached.”
Leela: “At least you didn’t smell as bad as them.”
Zoidberg: “You’re right! My stink gland <i>is</i> weak. Shmell!” (Holds Leela’s head to his armpit)
Fry: Who was that guy?
Bender: Your momma, now shut up and drag me to work
Raineer Wolfcastle: ahh, my eyes, the goggles do nothing
Wait, wrong thread, kinda…
Fry: “Back in the 20th century, we had no idea there was a university on Mars.”
Professor: “Well in those days Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made liveable.”
Q-Bert: And Dr. Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?
Zoidberg: I lost it… In a volcano…
Look at me, Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!
ZOIDBERG: How could this have hapeened?
HERMES: That’s a very good question!
BENDER: Oh, that’s where I left my cigar.
HERMES: That just raises further question!