Canadian transport == better. Especially our superior subways. If you buy monthly passes, you make savings of approximately 54$ a month after the first 25 trips. And trust me, you’ll make 25 trips.
The problem with that, Mr. Blivion, is that he would have to go to Canada to get your ssssavings.
Also, the reason taking the train costs so much is that the train needs to be funded in part by the government (much unlike our completely independent airlines, which never take government money and squander it on shoving sticks made of hot iron into passengers), so people are all “Whoa, we can’t have any of this with the trains taking our money and using it to get actual rails so that prices can go down, let’s die crashing into symbols of American imperialism instead.”
It seems that I will now be making one of those illogical flights to Hancock airport later in the month.
Now I will complain about how risky flight is, because I do not like flying to the point that…I really do not like flying.
I think one out of every three people who flies dies in a terrible fiery plane accident, and burns, and dies, and suffers horrible pain*.
I do not like those odds.
*Facts may not be factual.
Hey, those facts are not factual.
It’s really one out of every two people, and before the plane crashes, the oxygen masks are released, and they start hitting all the passengers in the face again and again with hammers.
Oh, and then the camel spiders are set free from the back room. They bite your toes.
No, not my toes!
Also, it is much different on Air Canada.
They release moose spiders, which are immune to ice and have tiny Wolverine/Vega claws taped to all their legs.
Yes, let’s all help alleviate my fear of flying.
Cuba uses American airplanes for guided missile tests, with Bush’s blessing (he blames it on terrorists and gets to say “Homeland security”).
Also airplane food is whatever was left of the previous passengers, but poisoned and with Japanese doujin maker jizz in it.
First off all, I never eat airline food (my salivary glands stop working due to SHEER FUCKING TERROR. I assume not salivating is my body’s first evolutionary response. Why? So I can’t spit on my adversary? So I can’t digest foodstuffs that might save my life? I don’t get it), and second of all, I will be flying nowhere near Cuban airspace.
I will be flying over KBV, however…
Just make sure the plane you’re on doesn’t look like a deer* and you should be safe on your journey over Wisconsin.
- a deer is defined as anything that is not wearing blaze orange
In D2 news, I need someone to get me to the summit so that I can get into the keep.
Snap.
I can get you <i>to</i> the summit, but there will be no Ancients for me.
There will be no Ancients for anyone, only Worldstone Keep for all.
buy a car, and also fuel
Bring Gatorade or something hydrating. At least then you’ll be able to spit something at the noisy kit 2 seats behind who keeps shooting spitballs at the back of your head. Also, bring snacks of your own chosing on with your carry-on luggage. That way when you do crash, you’ll stay strong and healthy while others become weak and feeble due to lack of nutrients on whatever deserted island you crash near. They’ll be easy prey for canibalism and will sustain you untill you go crazy, make a face on a volleyball and imagine it’s an actual person.
Good ideas all around, but if I crash anywhere it will be over Lake Michigan, Wisconsin, or Minnesota…and there will be no surviving. I will simply be crushed by the fuselage or devoured by a bear travelling at high speeds right next to the plane.
But I like that Gatorade idea.
If you crash over land, try to land on a blubbery midwesterner.
A fat guy in Wisconsin?
GOOD LUCK!
Avoid landing on a musky. The musky will eat you and your family. If your family is far away, the musky will take the bus to your family and then eat them.
Gah. It is Baal. (I assume)