Yarr, I be a pussy

Me mates, I be needin’ to confess ta something. I went out ‘pon me bike ta rent a game o’ golf with Mario in it. Seein’ as that it wasn’t thar, I rented the Resident Evil for tha Gamcube. I be tryin’ ta complete my game from last time, but be findin’ that whatever guts I had be long gone. I be havin’ trouble takin’ a single step, and be quite urged ta turn off the game altogether. I be feelin’ bile and vomit in my throat, I be almost pissin’ me pants, and I be supposed ta play through this?

Arrr, a boss be next but I be petrified. Can ya help me weak heart?

Even the sturdiest of yer captains have been shaken to th’ tits over that game. Avast, it’ll turn the stoutest men white with fear, and shiver me timbers to the very last!

What ye need ta do is become angry with them walkin’ undead landlubbers, and procure the shotgun. You’ll make 'em walk the plank that day, matey! You shoulnd’t fear a lubbing one of 'em with yer shotgun, me hearty!

Yarr, the presence of me trusty mutt also be of comfort. ‘Tis a shame his stench be worse than that o’ the undead bilge rats.

Yarr, we don’t be needin’ to hear that 'bout yer boyfriend, Blivvy.

Arr, the shark ate me in one hit.

Yar-har-har! A fine mastery of the language has me matey Zach!

Hahahahahaha… funniest thing Zach has ever said.

No, really, it did. There’s this huge shark in the game and it eats you in one bite.

One hit.

Yes.

Damn it, can’t we have a weekly talk like a pirate day?

The forums did become glorious, didn’t they?

I do love talking like a pirate…

Maybe I’ll come up with something that will benefit us all.

Talk like the Race day.

Oh, wait, that’s every day.

Hissss…

The brick loses.