St-Valentine's day is too far away!

So I managed to get burned 17 different ways by the same girl. I would go into detail, but I could be jailed*.

*[SIZE=1]not a joke[/SIZE]

Since Blivy won’t go into detail, I will: she’s a Russian spy.

Wait, no, go into detail.

Because, I need something to make me feel better, since I am evidently a dirty man-whore.

1: She’s 6, and you tried to put the wee-wee into the poo-hole.

2-17: See above.


I’m going out with an actress tomorrow. I can’t wait.

I also broke up with my girlfriend like…4 days ago or something.


Note: I just had this <i>exact</i> conversation with Trot:

reallyasi9: So, coming to the condo tonight?

TrottoTrotsky: No, I’m going out tonight.

reallyasi9: Really? Is she a 27-year old actress, like you tell everybody? I mean, I <i>am</i> your friend, right? You can tell me…

TrottoTrotsky: As long as you don’t tell anybody else, I’ll tell you… I’m actually going to inner-city Flint to coerce a 12-year old prepubescent black boy to sleep with me.

reallyasi9: …

reallyasi9: “coerce?”

TrottoTrotsky: Booze.

reallyasi9: Indeed.


I’m never telling you my secrets ever again! Even when we’re snuggling.

Why Blivy, is that an invitation?
I 'cept!