Let me tell you a story

I have never really had top-notch computers. The first computer I had was an NEC ready system. Aka, pile o’ crap-style dancing. The thing couldn’t even run Mechwarrior 2 right. And until recently, my computer, a Dell, couldn’t run Warcraft 3 properly, possibly because of a video card issue, possibly because of a lame processor. I got a new, beefed up version of the same Dell computer recently, and was shocked and awed when WC3: RoC ran without any slowdown or lag. I spent the better part of last week having fun with the game in various ways, including OTI. But upon mapmaking, it became painfully obvious that I really needed to get the expansion. The only reason I didn’t get it right when it came out was because I didn’t see the point, since the damn thing lagged so much anyway, expanding the ways it could lag wouldn’t do much. So I left this morning to go to the store, an EB situated just a little too far to be practical.

Upon getting there, I immediately asked the guy “Yo, you guys have frozen throne?” and his reply? “No, we don’t sell it individually. We sell both games as a bundle, for 45 bux plus tax.” “Ouch”, I replied “That’s rough. Let me look around for something else I might enjoy.”

I spent a bit looking around, noting with sadness that Wrestlemania X8, one of the worst wrestling games ever from 2001, was selling at a higher price than Viewtiful Joe. I remembered a recent release, and asked the guy “Hey, do you have Megaman X Collection for the cube?” “No, we only had 4 copies and they sold out really fast for some reason.” “Wow, yeah, you wouldn’t expect a collection of the best games of an era in the genre of platform shooters to sell well with anybody, eh.”

So I kept looking, and found nothing affordable or fun, so I asked the guy: “Hey, can I just order Frozen Throne separately?” “No.” “Um… okay, well, I guess I might buy the bundle after all. Let me just check my bank account.” “We don’t do balance checks here.” “oh, uh… Well. I guess I’ll buy it then. Take a chance.” “Sorry, we’re all out. For some reason, they sold out last week.” “What, you mean when the highly-anticipated patch came out? WHAT A COINCIDENCE!” “Yeah it’s crazy.”

“Look, can I just reserve a copy?” “No.” “Do you know when the next batch comes in?” “Oh, next month, probably.”

So I just walked out of the store, with all my hopes of GIVING THEM MY FUCKING MONEY evaporated, and headed to a phone booth. “Yo, Seraviel” “Yo.” “Copy me a Frozen Throne with a CD key and crack” “It’ll be ready tomorrow.”

Now. See how EASY it was to just cheat the system? I could have done this all along, but I seriously wanted Blizzard to have my money, and to a lesser extent, EB, because I like video games and I love Warcraft. But incompetent management and service made it impossible for me to give them my fucking money. I mean Jesus, selling the damn games as a bundle should count as fucking piracy and extorsion.

I was driven away from my intent to spend money to feed capitalism. I was PUNISHED for wanting to NOT TAKE THE IMMORAL WAY OUT by a general contempt for customer service. By sticking only to trying to just make profits and not caring about their customers, all the corporate parties involved are just telling me to go ahead and warez everything, it’s not like actually buying the game lets you install it if you lose the cd-key, it’s not like you can buy the game once and be done with it, it’s not like we’ll fucking make sure we have the game in stock. I think the evolution of technology and the ease of not having to do stuff unless we genuinely want to, be it fast-forwarding through ads with Tivo, or getting games for free OTI to avoid a 1 hour 2 bus trip to the mall, or downloading MP3s because I only want one fucking song on the damn soundtrack of Batman Begins, so I refuse to pay 20$ for it, is going to have to lead to companies actually making us want to use their shit, and actually making it accessible and easy to get. Because if I have to take annoying steps to get stuff on top of GIVING YOU MY FUCKING MONEY WHICH HELPS YOU MORE THAN ME RATASS, I just can’t be bothered. It’s all on you, The Man.


I guess that makes it official: SCREW YOU, AUTOZONE.

Hah, you missed out big time with Mechwarrior 2 back in the day brah.

This just goes to show you that Capitalism doesn’t work, and the all knowing Party should just distribute Warcraft 3 to everyone equally.

And Computer game stores are piles of fetid shit these days. I honestly can’t see myself buying a game from GameStop or EBGames ever again. Ever.