Funny Quotes

Post up some of your favorite funny quotes:

“If William Shatner ever pulls you into the bathroom and asks if you want to see the captain’s log, just say no. I fell for that nine times!” – Patrick Stewart

“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not all plotting against you.”

“I have fish in my pants”

…“Just so long as you keep the fishiness out of her pants.”

My answer is bring 'em on." —President George W. Bush, challenging militants attacking U.S. forces in Iraq…

“worst joke ever”

No, worst joke ever is " Have you looked in my pants latelly? "

the joke is old.

Life is like all sport , you must drink it up.

Aren’t there suppose to be funny quotes? Come on folks make me laugh :wink:

“Don’t. Trust. Anybody!”

[font=Verdana, Arial][size=2]Fry: ‘Who cares what you’re programmed for? If someone programmed you to jump off a cliff would you do it?’
Bender: ‘I’ll have to check my program…yep!’[/size][/font]

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

“You could change your name to Homer Junior. The kids could call you HoJu.”

“Meanwhile back @ the ranch, Hous had lil joe bent over the fence railing”:

“am… am i supposed to draw the penis?” - - Family Guy

“You, sir, are drunk.”
“Yes. But you, madam, are ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning.”
-Winston Churchill

“Masturbation is like getting high. Its all fun and games til you realize you fucked yourself.”

They finally proved black was white and white was black, bad thing is now man is dead becuase he was killed at a Zebra Crossing.

****, don’t I know it…