Best.essay.evar

So, this is the translation of the essay I just wrote in Russian. The world has the fact that I was forced to use 10 vocab words in it… The words are horridly unrelated. I will underline those that were used.

[I]My essay of toilet paper

I love television. What an interesting topic(this is an inside joke for my class from last semester.) I like colors in television. I don’t like black and white television. I like to watch sports on tv. I think that american football is better than soccer. Soccer is unpleasant. I don’t understand why foreigners so like soccer. I also like to watch movies. I like all types. I even like the most popular movies, but I don’t like foreign movies. People in foreign films talk with accents. In the end, I don’t know what I wrote about. It is an essay worse than an essay about toasters(another inside joke from last term… We wrote lots of sentences about toaster because it was one of the nouns we knew for some reason.)

Brad,(my GSI) I’m sorry for my essay. It is horrible. There is no real theme. I’m a bad person. I didn’t think of one good topic. This essay was not a success. I have bad luck.[/I]

Comrade Stalin smiles.

And then throws you in the gulag.

I wish I could do something like this in German. Unfortunately, I think Herr Lehrer Rotter would not appreciate an essay dedicated to the joys of Das Tote Baby.

On the other hand, he’s an authentic German, so he might.

Oh man, this essay is downright cromulent.