"Aunt Helga, is it Guy Fawkes day already?" "'TIS! 'TIS!," replied Aunt Helga

Today, November 5th is Guy Fawkes day in Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

What does this mean for you, the consumer?

Well, if you live in a decent, God-fearing country of the commonwealth, you’d be burning an effigy of a political traitor right now.


No good reason, except that you get to burn an effigy of a political traitor, that may or may not have ever existed, and who may or may not have ever acted a traitor against the Empire.

Really, it’s just an excuse to burn things.

Go Guy Fawkes, go!

Better than most excuses.

2.5 metric tonnes of gunpowder under Westminster. That’s it. That’s figured to be about the same ammount of TNT today, due to inflation.

Please, England. You make a holiday about a 2.5 metric tonne explosion that never goes off? Guess what our national holiday involves. Over ten times that amount of explosives going off in 100s of major cities across the damn country!

Guy Fawkes can’t even light a fucking fuse and you practically name the goddamned island after the fag. Good job.

Careful…that kinda talk is gonna get you burned…

Independence day is for pussies who fight Parliament from thousands of miles away. Guy Fawkes day is for brave-to-the-point-of-idiocy folks who fight it from right underneath it.

Aside for the fact that Independence Day celebrates pussies who succeeded, and Guy Fawkes Day celebrates brave idiots who didn’t.


Also, fixed.