Attention!

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As a newly ordained Discordian Pope I do hereby issue the following 5 proclamations (after all, if there were more, it would not be nearly as legitimate):

  1. This thread will be stickied because I will make further proclamations.
  2. I hereby do canonize Taylon as a Brigadier Saint of Discordia, and Mr. Steve Havelka as a Saint Second Class.
  3. Friday will now be officially known as Cakeday.
  4. Torgo is a very happening dude.
  5. When in doubt, shuffle your cards and play again for the title.

HAIL ERIS!

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Boo! Do not spread your dogma here, you dogmatic dogman!

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Discordianism has thought of this, and thus this tragedy has been prevented. This is because Discordianism has a catma, not a dogma.

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THERE IS NO DOGMA TO SPREAD. THEREFORE I AM IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAW. in contrast, this guy is humorously not

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i is saddened

time to terrorize the countryside with my lasers

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Stickied for Great Justice.

But you must prove your worth to maintain your stick.

OMFGLOL

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NEW WEEK MEANS NEW PROCLAMATIONS:

  1. During the last week in January, we will officially celebrate the currently secular holiday Winter-een-mas. Whether or not this holiday will be consecrated is up to debate.
  2. You have 338 seconds to claim your $100 million.
  3. Know the Law of Fives.
  4. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE MUFFINMEN.
  5. When fighting the Muffinmen, Arby’s is the holy weapon of choice.
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Hooray, I voted 5 golden apples for this thread!

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As Well You Should.

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These decrees are wildly offensive to my Muslim heritage.

I demand more Muslim friendly decrees.

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ok, well how about “muslims are our friends.”

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Hey, Adolf Pipler, how about something for the Jews? (read: reformulate all of your decrees to my specifications, or I will hit you with a Torah)

Heh… Adolf Pipler… I’m a genius.

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Adolf Pipler, more like buttered beans and mooncheese.

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ON THIS DAY BEFORE CAKEDAY, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TO MARK THE PASSING OF A STALWART INTERNET LEGEND.

GOATSE IS NO MORE. ([url=http://www.nic.cx/complaints/goatse.cx/goatse.cx11.01.2004.pdf]explanation)

A moment of silence for our departed friend.

(especially from trot)

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Hey what’s that man doing to his anus?

{edit: lol garth miller had to look into a man’s anus…for legal reasons}

{edit2: lol http://www.goatse.cx/index-orig.html lol}

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hey what’s this linsaglkhgdfljkadfhglkhklgKLHJgfsdkfhasjklsdfhdls

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www.goatse.cx could not be found. Please check the name and try again.