AAAGH! What the fuck is happening on campus?

The U of M-Dearborn campus is under a disgusting and vile siege today, for no good reason.

It seems that God hates us and decided to punish us with a plague of ladybugs or Japanese fighting beetles, or whatever the fuck they are, because they are currently everywhere. There’s at least eight in every class I’ve been in today, there were three in my bookbag, and there were three or four attached to my clothing when I got into my car to go get some bagels. There are approximately 8 trillion in the foyer of the CASL building, which is funny, because…well…there are about 8 trillion bugs trapped inside a building…which is just inherently funny.

I tried to walk through the rose garden behind the CASL building today, and was deluged by at least 50 of the little fuckers who wanted nothing more than to land on my arm and just sort of chill.

It’s repulsive…and I don’t know why they’re here. Don’t insects typically fuck in the spring and spit out their countless young in the summer? Did they just lie around all summer, and start banging like crazy in the past day? Because I haven’t seen one ladybug all summer/all semester until today…when I saw a little under a googleplex of them (give or take a hundred-thousand trillion).

Seriously…what the fuck? Should I just start panicking now to save myself the trouble of doing it later?

I never thought I’d say this, but, man, I hope it’s like 20 degrees tomorrow.

What. You better be talking about Farhaneits there, buddy.

I had like fifty of the things land on my today and a thousandfold more fly around me. But when I tried to swat at them they teleported or something, because I couldn’t even hit them with an unfolded newspaper.

They were not here yesterday.

Where the fuck did they come from??

I think God’s angry that a group of people would be stupid enough to elect a bodybuilder governor, simply because he was a robot in a movie.

So he punishes Michigan and Wisconsin…

Mysterious ways, my ass! That’s just foolish, oh spiteful one!!

Yes, he is most definitely speaking farenheight (that would be like -8 degrees Celcius).

As for those Japanese beetles, well one of them flew onto my face and I brushed it away, but that was about all of the problems I had with them up at U of M Dearborn today. I think perhaps most of them had been killed by aura of radio waves being transmitted from laptops to wireless routers that surrounds the Engineering building. Fortunately I didn’t have to go to the CASL building today.

At Fermilab this summer, we had these beetles that loved the smell of Marcol7 ultra-pure mineral oil. We also had over 1,000 tons of mineral oil in our detector, and another 2 tons hanging around the New Muon lab for testing. Well, there was a small hole in the wall in the lab, and some beetles got in. We opened up one of the 44-gallon containers of oil and found it half filled with dead beetles. We estemated over 100,000 beetle carcasses. Yum.

God damn, that’s cool.

They remain.

I call shenanigans.

They’ve stopped even landing on me. Now they just fly into me, and I hate them.

I laugh for Texas has no such plaaaaaaagues.

the endtimes are upon us

Let my people go.

I think Texas has other plagues. I hate to say that, though, as the Republic is one of my favorite members of the Union.


Well anyhow, I noticed millions of those Japanese beetles today at school as well. Someone told me they were introduced into the environment to kill of a certain bug and now nothing is killing them off, but I’m not sure how true that is. Regardless, the door to the Engineering building is now covered in them. Eeek!

You may have beetles, but we have little white flies! HAHA!

Our beetles could kick your white flies’ asses.

Pretty fly for a white

Oh, right. Canada has no more bugs at this time of year. And on the off-chance killer bees or camel spiders could make it here, the winter would kill them. That is all.

Lucky bastards.

Fire Ants, Killer Bees, West Nile, etc.

Canada has no more bugs at this time of year. And on the off-chance killer bees or camel spiders could make it here, the winter would kill them. That is all.

read also: Michigan tech

But MTU is filled with nerds wearing airbrushed tiger t-shirts.

Winter fails to kill off their population.

Attest for that, smarty!

WORST. PLACE. EVER. Nobody in their right mind would ever want to go there. Ever. For any reason.

oh wait